...And then my mom walked in

An anthem for the awkward

Got 2hrs of sleep last night, got up early and drove from Denton to Dallas love field to sign papers for a new car. I’m happy but don’t mess with me.  (at Park Place Volvo )
This is my contribution as a Bride’s Maid… Be easy 😁
This pillow is made out of balled up panty hose!!!  (at Frisco Mercantile)

Freudian Slip!!

For those that don’t know me, I am not skilled with the patience for poetry, at least when it comes to creating it, and sometimes reading it, or listening to it. However, as an English major it is required in our curriculum to take poetry!

It wasn’t until I was paired up with a friend in class to go over our poems was the nature of my poetry brought to my attention. Now I still contest to being completely blind about my poems, so when this friend revealed to me that essentially the majority of my poems had sexual reference I was stunned. I truly didn’t see it until she brought it to my attention. Anyway here is one of them for view, this one is more obvious than others. Have fun decoding if there is anything to decode, I DID! This first was truly an innuendo accident. It’s an object poem and the title is at the end.

Poem 1

Like Charon

I take you to heaven or hell

You know this.

Every day I open my mouth and deep throat you

                                                                                You

                                                                                Press

                                                                                My

                                                                                Buttons

and tickle my tonsils,

as I take you up and down

I choke on you- a disgusting taste.

                                                                                Quaking                          

I open my mouth

and like sheep you scurry out

afraid I’ll take what’s indebted to me

and swallow you whole

                                                                “The Generous Elevator”

 

Cruel and hilarious:right up my alley. 
The family that frowns with disgust together—-stays together. (at Earle Ar)
blushila:

♡ Rosy, Pink, and Pretty ♡
awesome

My Super Ashley Bucketlist

I recently finished the hilarious series “An Idiot Abroad” on Netflix and it made me want to really think about what I’d like to experience in my life and so I have created a list of things to do. Some of these things are very generic but most are different from the average person’s desires, and lets just be real, I’m not exactly the average person.  SO like always there will be some mature rated things on the list that may shock more than awe, consider this your fair warning.  Maybe you can also find something in the list you haven’t done and would like to but never thought about it. This will be a living list: basically that means it will be constantly revisited and updated as I mark things off and think of new things to do.

These come in no particular order of importance:

1)    Overcome my fear of failure

2)    Find a job I love

3)    Throw a huge party and invite all of my friends

4)    Swim with stingrays

5)    Learn a foreign language and use in in that country

6)    Skinny Dipping!

7)    Have sex outside

8)    Howl with wolves

9)    Get a home with a library set to my standards

10)  Read a library of books

11)  Experience weightlessness

12)  Live in Italy for a year

13)  Ask someone I’ve only just met to go on a date

14)  Sleep under the stars

15)  Go cray cray in Rio during Carnival

16)  Forgive my parents

17)  Have a professional psychic reading done

18)  Murder Mystery Party Show!

19)  Enjoy several lovers at one time

20)  Attend Victorian Ball

21)  Grow a garden

22)  Ride in a hot air balloon

23)  Kiss someone I’ve just met

24)  Learn to bartend

25)  Write a fan letter

26)  Zip line through a forest

27)  Have sex on a roof top

28)  Buy and shoot a gun

29)  See northern lights in person

30)  Paintballing!!

31)  Stay on deserted island

32)  Go to Galapagos islands

33)  Eat at undersea Restaurant

34)  Go to full moon party in Thailand

35)  Dance under the moon

36)  Get a tattoo

37)  Slow dance in the rain

38)  Go zorbing

39)  Grow a bonsai tree

40)  Walk on hot coals

41)  Unplug for a weekend

42)  Free an animal

43)  Pet a tiger and not die

44)  Write down highlights of my day for an entire year

45)  Get comingled going

46)  Fuck in a Forest

47)  Hold a snake

There’s something wiener going on here!